Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." — Hakuin Ekaku, Song of Zazen
Hakuin wrote this in 18th-century Japan after years of brutal self-imposed practice that nearly destroyed his health. He had chased enlightenment through extreme austerity and found himself physically and mentally broken instead. A mentor helped him recover, and what emerged from that period was a hard-won understanding that straining toward what we have lost only moves us further from what we actually have. That lesson sits at the center of how Zen approaches grief: the person, the time, the version of yourself that is gone did not disappear into somewhere distant you must travel to reach.
Reflection
Grief often pulls attention toward absence rather than what is still present. What specific thing do you still have today that your loss has made you stop noticing?