August 12, 2026

See the Wound Beneath

When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help.

Thich Nhat Hanh was a Vietnamese Zen monk who spent his life teaching reconciliation after decades of war, exile, and loss forced him to confront both his own grief and his anger at those who caused it. In this passage he asks us to look past a person's hurtful words or actions to the suffering that is actually driving them. Compassion, in his view, is not about excusing harm but about understanding it clearly enough to respond with help instead of retaliation. In the Buddhist tradition, lovingkindness practice moves outward in stages, from oneself, to loved ones, to strangers, and finally to those we find difficult, because the hardest people to love are often the ones most in need of it. Nhat Hanh's teaching reminds us that compassion begins not with approval, but with seeing clearly.

A principle of Eastern Wisdom: Compassion and Lovingkindness →